I swear, not another one of those “i’m going to learn a new skill during quarantine” you didn’t ask for
I’m sure we’ve all seen the long Instagram posts, the tweets, the Vogue article. Y’all know what I’m talking about. I am in no way bagging on people who do feel they want to come out of quarantine with a new skill, whatever it be. And I know my title hints at such a post, but that isn’t the point. Not today. Today’s post is a way for me to put it into the universe that I want to write more, read more, listen to music more, cook more. A way for me to reignite the fire inside me.
As a kid, I somehow found the time to draw, play Sims for hours, make mixtapes on blank CDs and later my iPod, write short stories that were always a tad smutty, watch every episode of America’s Next Top Model, read countless books all while going to school and doing homework. This really isn’t too different from my “mandatory” schedule now. Honestly, young me, how the fuck?
When did I lose the inspiration to do so much? I wasn’t even trying to be someone or create content to monetize off it, I was just drawn to those interests. Now, I work my 9–5, at home of course. Hello social distancing. I have started doing yoga everyday, though, run more than I ever have, and workout almost everyday. That’s more than I was doing ever since I got my first big girl job.
I’ve lost focus but what I’m trying to say is that yes, I will be one of those people who will be focusing on my interests because I feel dull. I feel like I’m losing myself to a monotonous life and that was my greatest fear as a kid. My college years challenged my dreams and my mental state. They brought me to a reality I couldn’t ignore anymore and since then, all I’ve wanted was a stable job with health insurance. As an immigrant kid from poor parents, I wanted to give myself what my parents couldn’t. Not because they didn’t want to, but because this country said they weren't entitled to or deserving of the sham known as the American Dream.
I want to develop the skills I left behind not just to maybe make a job out of it sometime in the future, but mostly to bring me fulfillment and inspiration.
Here’s to all of us, coping in whatever way possible.
